Baseball Season

Every year, Josh gets STOKED when baseball season is about to begin.

"There are going to be REAL professional baseball players playing on TV today.  But it doesn't really matter, because its Spring training.  So, it's the worst baseball ever."

Patience, Babe.  Good things will come. :P

Verbal Assassination

Josh and I were discussing his amazing ability to shut people down, efficiently and accurately, with just a few words. He says,

"I like to think of myself as a verbal assassin.  In fact, that just might be how I punish our future children.  There PROBABLY isn't a monster under your bed... but there MIGHT be.  Think about that."

Real nice.

Stealing...

I usually buy cigarettes in two's because it's cheaper.  So, I get two for Josh and two for me.  I either misplaced or lost my second pack so I stole Josh's second pack (he smokes much less than I) and planned to replace it after class.  Josh beat me home and asked that I stop for cigarettes.  He said he couldn't find his second pack.  I admitted that I had stolen it and he responds...

"Meanie.  How dare you steal from the uneducated working class."

Violated

I attempted to chest bump Josh today, and all I got was my breasts groped.  In response to being violated, I tried to jam my finger between his butt cheeks.  I know this will never successful because he has buns of steel, but it never fails to offend/shock him.

I said, "Yeah... you violate me and I violate you BACK!"

He says, "Well, yeah but I didn't try to finger blast your fart box."

LOL... WHAT?!
Apparently it's a joke on one of the forums he's a part of.  Hilarious.

Objectivication

Josh and I were in the living room tonight.  I was playing on my computer and he was playing video games.  I decided it was time for a smoke so I walked between him and the television to go to the basement.  I had been working on a crochet project and realized right as I was blocking his view to the video game that my legs were tangled in yarn.  I bent over to free myself and looked up at him to apologize for "being a door and not a window."  He was sort of half smiling and I said, "What?  Where you just staring at my tits??"  (I was wearing a deep v-neck)

He says,
"YUP!"

Well at least he still finds me attractive after we tied the knot. ; )

Babies

Josh: "Why does everybody on my Facebook have to have cute babies?"

Me: "Why?  Is that a problem for you?"

Josh: "Well, yeah, as long as you're not getting pregnant yet."


Aww... Josh wants a baby! :)