Sleepy Time

Josh is NOT a morning person.  He's a BEAR in the morning.  Literally.  He growls, grumbles and is incredibly cantankerous for at lest a half an hour.  This morning he wakes up declaring that the had the worst night's sleep EVER!

Then he says, "You're a JERK, by the way!"

"Why?" I asked, ready to hear that I had hoarded the bed and/or covers.

"Because you fell asleep in less than FIVE MINUTES!"

So sorry.

First World Problem

Lately, Josh has been saying, "That's a first world problem" or "That's a rich white guy problem" whenever somebody starts to complain about something moronic. 

I came home from the grocery store with some sweet corn.  As I was removing that remaining strip of corn husk I said, "Why the heck do they even bother leaving this on here?  It's like they think it makes it look prettier or something.  I would have bought the individual ones instead of the prepackaged ones... but I didn't want to pick out five different ears... so I just grabbed this." 

I paused for a moment and said, "Wow... that was SO American of me to say... first world problem." 

Mixed Feelings

Josh said tonight...

"I'm horny.  And depressed.  It's hard being horny AND depressed."

Gas.

Josh and I take showers together frequently.  One of his favorite mean things to do to me is fart while we're in the shower... especially if it's quiet and it sneaks up on me.

Today, I ripped one and hopped out.  Josh says, "Gawd!! What did you EAT?!"

I said, "What?!  You do that all the time to me!

He says, "Ya, but you're a girl... so it's gross."

"And what it is when YOU do it?" I asked.

"Funny," he says.

Heated... Literally

Josh sent me a text from work today...

"So it's just Tim and I today.  Mike took the afternoon off [supervisor].  We've been bullshitting most of the day and kinda fucking off.  Tim got me into a political discussion.  I wound up so mad that I started sweating!"

News Feed

Josh was talking about his frustration with his news feed on Facebook.

He said, "I missed the announcement that one of my favorite bands is breaking up because 50 people I don't care about decided to share that they were going to school or work."

Work Day

Josh hates his job.  I swear every day he has some messed up story about what happened that day.  I called him on my way home from work yesterday.  It took me an hour to explain all the awfulness.

When I got home, I had pretty much explained all that had happened.  He said, "Well, if it's any consolation, I had a pretty GOOD day at work!"

I said, "Really?!  That's good!"

He says, "Yeah, we had bizzaro day today!"

Interview!

I have a job interview tomorrow that I'm feeling REALLY confident about!  I can't WAAAAAIT!

Last night, I started feeling like I might be getting a cold or something.  Noooo!  All day, I've felt like I'm right on the cusp of being full blown sick.  I text messaged Josh while I was at work today, "I still feel like I'm getting sick, but I'm DETERMINED to get to this job interview no matter what!"

He says, "I don't care if you have the ebola virus, you're going."

:)

1st Wedding Anniversary

Josh's Facebook status when I woke up on September 4, 2011:

"In my wedding vows, I mentioned the zombie apocalypse.

She still said yes.

I win.

Best.  Wife.  Ever."

:)

Pillow Talk

I had a zit that I couldn't leave alone.  I put a dab of Neosporin on it before bedtime and crawled in.  Josh looks over at me in the light coming from the television and says, "Um, you got some schmutz on your face."

I said between laughs, "Did you just use the word 'schmutz?'  That's amazing!"

The First World

Josh and I had the chance to stay in a REALLY nice hotel thanks to my Mom's credit card.  We had dinner at the restaurant located in the hotel.  I told Josh after we got coffee with our dessert that I really hated these coffee cups.  I couldn't get more than a finger in the handle. 

Josh mentioned, "Yeah, these cups suck... they're too thin so it's too hot!"  In the middle of adding something to that he says, "This is SUCH a First World conversation.  Let's talk about something else."