Racist

Josh said something offensive, as he does.  I sighed and he said, "What?!  At least I'm not a racist."

I responded, "Right, except you say racist things..."

"No," he says, "I hate EVERYONE equally."

Nuts

Instead of pine nuts, I use walnuts in my pesto.  Josh and I got supplies for it today when we were grocery shopping.  When we got home, he put the walnuts in the freezer.

I asked him, "Why would you put the walnuts in the freezer??"

"My grandma used to put 'em there.  Keeps 'em fresh.  Plus, I like my nuts on ice"

What happened to America?

Josh and I were out running errands today when we saw this REALLY cool hotrod.  Josh said, "SEE?!  We USED to make really cool stuff.  What happened to America?"

"I dunno... maybe we thought we got too smart," I said.

"NO!" he says, "What happened was - the guy who built that, told his kids they could have dreams."