Fairy Tales

While up in St. Paul, MN visiting the sibs and doing some painting, I finally went to see The Hunger Games.  In the previews, I saw one for Snow White and the Hunstman.  I thought it looked amazing and texted Josh about it, at some point using the descriptor "badass."

Josh responded, "Um, badass Snow White?  How does THAT work?!  How could you possibly make the 7 Dwarfs badass?  Hi-ho, hi-ho ... with a VENGEANCE!"

Big Enough for Liz to Know About It

Josh says, "So you know how the Tebow thing got big enough last year that even YOU knew about the Tebow thing?"

LOL.

He had to stop finishing his thought because I was laughing so hard.  Anytime something in sports happens that I know about, is a big deal.

Stigmata

Josh took the day off work so we set off to run some errands together.  I looked over at him and noticed that he was bleeding a bit on the bridge of his nose.

I said, "Babe, your nose is bleeding a bit."

He says, "Oh... it's just a little stigmata."

"Are you sure you just didn't get in a fight this morning?" I asked.

"Oh yeah... with the Philistines."

Light Switches

Josh was milling around the house before bed last night.  He comes into the bedroom where I'm reading and says,

"I've recently developed a habit of trying to flick on light switches that were NEVER there."

We've lived in our apartment for 4 years now! :)  I can't say I haven't done this before, though.

Bamboo Needles

I was waiting impatiently for my set of 15 different sized double pointed bamboo needles.  I was explaining the differences between plastic, metal and bamboo needles to Josh for an extensive amount of time last night.  I lost him after I gave a list of the different kinds.  Even handing them to him and telling him to rub them together didn't produce an "Oh! I get it!" moment.

The needles came in the mail today and I quickly ripped apart the packaging.  The manufacturer is based in MN and apparently makes all sorts of bamboo products, including kitchen utensils, cutting boards, flooring, etc.  Inside the package was a tiny bamboo spoon.  Josh was standing next to me when I said, "What the heck could I use THAT for?"

He says, "It's for a very crafty coke head."

Option C

This morning, the dogs needed to be let out and we needed to make a run for cigarettes.  I asked Josh, "Would you rather take the pups out or go to the gas station?"

Pause... and picks up the longest knitting needle in my collection.

"I choose Option C.  Poking your eye out with this monstrous needle."

Sweet.

The Diva Cup

I bought one today.  I have the world's lightest periods and have the desire to spend NO money on "feminine hygiene products."  Before I thought to put it away, Josh saw it.  I was in the basement at the time and he comes downstairs with this really embarrassed look on his face.

"That THING... that thing is TRULY HORRIFIC."  ...Pause...  "We can never have a girl."

"What about me?  I'm a girl," I asked.

"Ya... and I ALREADY have to compartmentalize.  I can't think about how that THING is somehow associated with the parts of you I like to have sex with.  It's like somebody looked at a Dixie cup and said, 'Hey! Stick this in your vagina!"