Thanksgiving.

Josh wakes up and says, "Happy Thanksgiving!"

I gave a disapproving grumble and he says, "Let's go rape and kill some Indians!"

I said, "And colonize a country!"

"Naw, fuck that... we're here to spread disease and Christianity!  ...   You know what we SHOULD do today?  We should go to an Indian casino and say, 'Sorry guys... we're going to spend lots of money now.'"

Obviously, we're all about this holiday.

Kisses.

I stole a kiss from Josh in bed the other night right as he was about to fall asleep.

He says, "Damn!  You just mouth raped me!"

So sorry to violate you, Babe... now go to sleep.

The Gods

Josh was antsy about getting off work the other day.  I told him, "You only got an hour!"

He says, "I know, thank the Gods."

"Gods don't exist, silly man!", I replied

He says, "Careful... Odin doesn't take kindly to that kind of talk."

PTA

Who knows HOW, but Josh and I started discussing school boards and PTA.  At the end of a lengthy, one sided conversation I said, "I don't really know anything about what you're talking about.  I have nothing to add."  I then brought up that Sarah, my bestie, is on the PTA at her son's school and is in charge of fundraising.

Josh started going on and on about all the things he would do.  "I'd have a Battle of the Bands show and donate all the door money to the school."  I asked him, "So... you're saying that when we have kid(s), you're going to be a part of PTA?"

He says, "ABSOLUTELY!  I'll show up in my Behemoth [a metal band] t-shirt and use the power of my BEARD to raise money!"

It's settled then.

Pecking Order

Josh and I were discussing dominance in our household tonight... particularly with the dogs.  Otis THINKS he's #1 all the time.  Occasionally, we have to knock him down a peg or two.  I looked at Roxy and said, "And you're #4!"  She wagged her tail and looked at me with her blank stare.

Josh says, "You know WHY Roxy is #4?  Because in a house fire, Otis would alert us and get the heck out.  With Roxy, we'd have to wake her up and carry her ass out."

Dexter

After catching up on Dexter, Josh and I were discussing our predictions for the rest of the season.  We talked about how Quinn needs to keep his dick in his pants and should PROBABLY be fired... and Deb needs to swear off men.  I said, "How much you want to bet Deb and the new guy..."

Josh cuts me off and says, "That CAN'T happen.  That better not happen.  What I saw was the new black guy get interested in Dexter.  What happens when a black guy gets close to Dexter?  Black guy dies."

Talk to Text

Josh uses "talk to text" when he's driving.  He's off work before me on 4 out of the 5 days a week.  Instead of calling me, he usually texts me to tell me he's off and on his way home.  This is what I got today...

"Yahoo I'm on my way home, babe.  I love you!"
...
"1. I just realized that I forgot 2 get smokes on my way home.
  2. Fucking talk to text... I've NEVER said "yahoo" about anything.  Ever."
...
"Goddammit!  I don't substitute numbers for words either!"

Hippie Chicken, Part 2

Josh and I were discussing his amazing ability to steer clear of all sickness.  Seriously, he hasn't been ill in the nearly 6 years we've been together.  This makes no sense, since he's a Type 1 Diabetic, he shouldn't be so immune! I was trying to defend myself saying that, actually, I had only been REALLY sick the three times I had bronchitis and pneumonia.  He noted that it must be all the antibiotics and junk they put in his meat!

I told him, "When you DO get sick, it's going to be epic and I'll never let you live it down.  You'll be in the hospital and I'll be throwing it right in your face!"

He responds, "Ya... I'll be laying there on my death bed and I'll say, 'ONCE!  I got sick ONCE!'"

I swear, even when he's dying we'll be jabbing at each other. :P  All in good fun.

In the Dark

Josh had a doctor appointment this morning at 8:30 am.  He had to fast for 12 hours before so by the time he got done, he was starving!  He went and got us McDonald's breakfast (about the only thing I'll eat fast-food style anymore is their egg and cheese biscuits).  Yum!

I was in the basement drinking my morning coffee and checking my email and such.  He came down to give me my order and said,

"Gawd!  Turn on your light, Goth kid!"