Run For Your Lives

I found this today and posted it on my Facebook.  I wasn't sure that Josh had seen it so I showed him tonight.  He thought it was pretty cool, but like me, decided we couldn't spare the money.  Then he said, "That IS pretty cool... but I don't see the point in using it as preparation if I can't SHOOT them."

Fruit

I was trying to come up with different fruit I could bring to work with me and I remembered cantaloupe!  Josh hates it, but I love it!  I brought one home and started to cut into it.  It occurred to me that I had never actually cut one up myself, nor had I watched anybody else do it.

I said out loud, "How does one cut up a cantaloupe?  I wish I just had one of those melon ballers."

Josh responded, "A shot gun will do it!"

New Job

I finally found employment.  It isn't in my field, nor is it the perfect situation.  However, I get paid - and well.  Not to mention the fact that medical insurance, dental and life for me are FREE.  You read that right.

Josh has been pretty affectionate lately.  Putting two and two together, I said, "You love me more when I'm employed, don't you?"  (I was kidding, of course)

He says, "I wouldn't say that.  I'd say that the relief of stress has finally started to lift.  It's like coming out of a two year long hostage situation."

In Public

Josh and I were at HyVee today getting groceries for the week.  A woman at the deli counter noticed his awesome Boondock Saints t-shirt and said, "That's an awesome shirt!"  He didn't say anything... he just looked like a deer in headlights.  I said, "Yeah... I think I actually found that one at a garage sale."

We walked away and Josh said, "I'm so glad you're able to converse with people like a normal human being.  I you weren't there, I would have just grunted at her and walked off."  I paid attention during the rest of our shopping and realized that he doesn't talk to ANYONE but me in the store.  It's like those old couples where the wife just speaks for her husband all the time.  :P

Throwing Elbows

Josh and I were laying in bed, not talking.

I noticed that he had the shotgun loaded next to his side of the bed.  I looked over and noticed that my .22 was not loaded and next to MY side of the bed.  I asked him, "Why don't I have my .22 ready to go?"  He said, "I don't know."

This started yet another zombie conversation.  He said that it was more important that he had a gun on his side... because I sleep next to the window.  I couldn't understand this because, with his reasoning, zombies are more likely to come in through a window rather than the locked door way.

I said, "Well you're next to the DOORway!"

He says, "It's okay, though, because I can throw deadly elbows to fight them off."

Ouch

Josh came up from the basement while I was baking cupcakes this evening and said, "I think I was sitting on one of my balls downstairs."

Er... okay.